Age, gender, height, eye and hair color, then tell me what your favorite something (hobby, class, music, etc) and what kind of date you want to take me on.
Omy. Thank you. Akala ko wala nang magsesend sakin. Okay lang yang trip trip na date. Gusto ko yan cos kalog ako haha. Magkakasundo tayo. Sure, I will. Come off anon. Thank you ulitttt. :)
Will be away for a week. :) How are you guys! :)
Years will pass and we’ll gonna realize that we are to deal with the same things anymore inspite of their different phases. It’s tedious as workers tend to elevate the pavement annually, trying to keep up with the pace of the changing environment and realizing that it doesn’t change. We’re gonna deal with cement, modern-vintage facade, infrastructures with polymorphic polygons, overlapping edges and they will sooner be unrecognizable with that of the virtual prototypes. The world has become insincere and sinister as time goes by. Even our ‘hellos’ and ‘goodbyes’ sent through electronic mail tells us that it’s not the same thing we utter through our fingertips in keypads because they’ve been interpreted as different waves anymore. That binary signals are one of the truest forms now. That standing in between two opposing propositions makes it more complicated; that it’s just always ‘true’ or ‘false’, and ‘yes’ or ‘no’. The footprints we left at the pavement are not the same marks anymore because people have stepped on those as well. There are lives we have encompassed and lives we have dipped our toes on and the pavement of the workspace of their lives get crooked as well. And somehow we let the thought of us seep in through the cracks of others’ live because it’s the only way we could make them remember us when their broken shards get paved and healed in time; because everyone is changing their exterior and faces. We are ditto and replica of the memories we’ve collected. And people deem people not humane anymore but more of a notion.
me taking a bath outside and picked
on me for seeing my body; that was when
I knew that only few plays good at being
innocent. When a former friend told me
that letting someone know you more,
takes nakedness and vulnerability, they
used my scars and flaws against me; that’s
the time when I doubt that having scars
is beautiful and I stopped being myself.
The last time I looked for a sleeve to be a
canopy in times of a quiet storm whirling
around my mind, my former lover said that
I couldn’t give her something I don’t have;
that’s the time I start loving myself. And
maybe, that’s the reason we have our own skin.
Blues can’t only be found in midnight. It can also be found at the morning when the sun seems to lose its radiance. It also withers and diffuses to every different phases; it is a component of everything. It can also be found in the air we breathe; the kind of air that brings nostalgia and conceals melancholy’s pigment. It can also be found in the summer haze when it rains; the smell of the petrichor divulges why changes are inevitable and why there is a paradox in life — why things seemingly opposite to each other, come hand-in-hand. It can also be found at the rhythm pitched down half an octave. It can be found anywhere; ready to be picked, ready to harm, ready to poison.
Track Name: Red (short a capella cover)
It’s been awhile since I read you. And the last time I check the heart of your content, you were forlorn. But dear, this is a brand new day and it’s the day your countenances and all of you were published to the world to see how great of an inspiration you could be. I know they’ve been telling you that you’re consistently inconsistent but they don’t realize that you are a round character in a book who changes from time to time because you are an epitome of diversity. I know that there are still unveiled pages in your life and that you hid the preliminaries and some of the vitals in your timeline. You conceal the preface page in your book because you are too tired introducing yourself to other people and be incessantly explaining yourself to them who only have nothing but queries on why you are like this and that. But dear, I’ll still love you even if the acknowledgement phase in your life takes hold a major part of giving thanks to your sorrows, strife and misery you had gone through. You’ve been a channel of motivation to other people and it’s time for you to get up to something; to show them how you shape and hone yourself from zero to hero. That you cater happiness now. It’s okay to be tired being vulnerable, but it’s still okay to reach your melting point at times. And I swear, if the time comes that you felt uncomfortable being naked again, I’ll rip off my skin to cover you. Because this is how I love the unveiled pages in you. Your greatness are yet to be discovered. You’re more than a fleeting chapter, my dear.
to the fact that at certain
instances, unlike charges
attract each other and that
is how I picture us. I have an
while you feel disoriented when
things are too prim and proper.
I told you that I would arrange
your burdens in a queue so that
they won’t haunt you altogether and
you could finally face and conquer
them in your nightmares one at a time.
I told you that I would put post-it notes
on your walls so you won’t forget taking
medication on time. And lastly, I told you
that I would keep on checking the door
of your heart if it still welcomes the sound
of my name when it’s beating from time to time.
But you told me that you were not a bug to be
troubleshot; that I should mind fixing myself first.
It’s funny how I write an epilogue to our story when in fact I’m still looking for a closure. I want to ask you many things that’s been running in my head because I hesitated some of the things you said to me after we cut the connection that we had. This is that day. And you had never made me forget.
The last time I checked my heart, I admit that it still longs for you. I still want you back but in a different way now — not as a lover, but just as your best buddy. Maybe things would be simpler between the two of us if we stayed as friends. Maybe we don’t have to separate ways and deal with all of these. Maybe things are better left unsaid. And maybe there is no more use for me to write in details what really happened for I don’t want to remember the fault lines and creases on our relationship someday. I just want to remember how we savored our moments in glee. I still have the booklets where I wrote our sweet memories. And I don’t touch them anymore for I don’t want to caress a wound that I know is already near to healing. I never regret anything that I did for you. I still remember what you said that you’ll graduate just to be with me, and I’m not looking forward to all the plans we’ve had before anymore because I already accepted that it’s over for us. Maybe we’re still blessed because it ended that soon because we know in ourselves that we won’t last and we’re just afraid to admit it but I just wished that it ended differently.
My dear, I’m afraid this could be the last letter I’m writing for you. I have to do this for myself to finally let go of the things that impede my growth as an individual. Thank you for all the things you’ve done to me. See you somewhere unexpected.
I don’t know if you still remember this day. The very day that we officially end things for us. But I bet you don’t. Because you thought that everything is already fine when we say we’ll stay friends.
The truth is I still ache because it transpired. It’s been two years but it feels like a fresh wound with blood gushing down my spine. It feels like it just happened yesterday. But if reminiscing what we shared costs the hurt of reopening the blood-clotted wound etched on every pore in my skin, I’ll take it; even if it means being naked. On days when I ran out of aesthetics to glitter myself when someone asks me to introduce myself in an eccentric way, I think of the things you made me believe — the very things that you made me feel good about myself. But I shut myself from those things because I doubt them when we parted ways. Maybe, that was just needed for me to have confidence in you, that you will be the one who will love me the most. The one who’ll taste her future when tasting the stains of the past in my lips. The one who will engulf me despite my wintry body. You were the one who I wish to be, and the one who I wish to be with, for the rest of my life. I know why we fell apart. But I was just oblivious to the possibilities that we could probably last, or we could not. The root of the pain never left. There are days coming like I don’t taste you like morning dew when waking up anymore. But there are also days like I’m visiting a graveyard and wishing our memories would be reborn, instead of wishing for my rejuvenation. I had no more tears, apologies and goodbyes left to afford. I’m already done on looking forward to regret you, to tasting the salt water in my tears when I read that there’d be no more connections left for the both of us when you were the one who pleaded me to stay by your side even if we’re not the same anymore and I already get past crying for you to come back.
I don’t know what to say anymore. I don’t even know how to end is. I don’t know why is it have to be like this. I don’t know why is it that there should be relationships to be sacrificed as arenas for us to learn the parameters of love. But one thing I know is that we made each other feel what no one could never afford to give.
Somehow, I couldn’t say whether I see it coming or not. But one thing is for sure; there are times I keep on looking on the yesteryear and I’m still afraid of waving back to your goodbye.
I remember when we were exchanging text messages, flowery words and whatnot. Maybe, we didn’t know what we’re doing that time. We just got lost on our own spaces and we circled on the articulation of our tongues that tickle our fickle mind; we’re almost near to oblivion and I took the risk. I didn’t mind getting past the midnight without kissing the moon goodbye because you were the sunset I could stand glaring at the whole time; one that I would trade for the night. But what happened? You didn’t come one afternoon, and I felt like I lost sight of you. But you were in my hands and I’ve been the sea you’ve always want to lie down on. I baffled your warmth so we could balance each other. I remember when you said you can’t take your eyes off of him, and I want to remind you what we have, I want to be an alarm for a hint you can’t give me directly. I didn’t guess it was a goodbye for us. This can’t be. It’s impossible. We’re invincible because you made me feel like engulfed in the chains we bridged ourselves. But I know one day you’ll leave. And maybe that’s why, you keep on saying “Dear, we don’t know what the future beholds so let’s just savor today.” You were right. I was complacent enough that it was just a euphemism of us, not making it to forever. I didn’t have the time to connect all of the clues you’ve been trying to make me comprehend. And you outsmart me for you didn’t give the pieces on a linear lapse of time. You did it by season. You make sure it won’t shatter me big time. Maybe I just ran out of time to figure what’s ahead of us and what’s really up to that relationship we had. I ran out of time because I was so busy anchoring everything of me to yours because you were my orbit; that no matter how dazed off I’d be, and no matter how far I fall, I’d always find myself in your arms. But maybe, our love wasn’t strong enough to defy the gravity that kept our feet on the ground because we always want to fly, to go somewhere else; remote and privy — just for the two of us, just for the two of us. I keep saying this to myself like my favorite song on repeat. But maybe it’s true that we won’t see things clearer when we’re enthralled by love, that it’s almost over for the both of us. That ending what you have even if you’re not experiencing any tremendous problems is worse than breaking up after a series of conflicts and confrontations. That there are people who love each other that much and yet the situation won’t permit them to. You told me, you needed space for yourself. And I knew what you want, I’m just too afraid to admit that for I don’t want to hear myself say that I fall short of loving you because I didn’t. Tears ran down in my face when you were jealous of someone, and that’s a sweet stress for me, for the both of us. But my tears that moment are more vivid, they somewhere flaunt in the planes of my face. They are made of tears and they are denser. And I wiped them away for I don’t want to be more upset than the feeling I’ve collected that fed the butterflies in my stomach.
I apologized for having things in your life disoriented. I know that I should have not done that ‘cause I don’t deserve that. But you were almost closing things for the both of us. You kept me hanging and left me flabbergasted and waiting for things to be clarified. And I thought, that is the prologue to our goodbye.
You are too delicate to ignore. And I know you won’t believe me. But you are worth a velvet palm to be tainted with blossoming blood ‘caused by your thorns because you’re a diamond in the rough. In that way, I’ll let it gush over your entirety so that you’ll know how beautiful you are to make you realize that you are not that pale to be reached by its pigment. You are skinny but believe me that it’s a physique many people have been trying to attain. You are blessed for that because one could easily cup your bones and feel the depth of your soul for I know you also want to be loved in an eccentric way but you are just too shy to place it atop of your priorities because you believe that one should love themselves first before loving someone else. But one day would come that you won’t be waiting at one corner in a concourse to be noticed by the one you admire anymore, because someone would feel like the tendons of his/her heart is a roadtrip to yours. And please, believe me when I say that you are weirdly beautiful because you could catch attention effortlessly. And dear, please do take away your insecurities, because you are beautiful too.